You know that saying “every dog has its day”? For these world’s richest pets, that’s true every day.
We all know that the one percent lives in a different world from what most of us could ever imagine, but the real kicker is that even their pets live better than we do. Some of these pampered creatures wear expensive cologne, have personal chefs, and own their own Apple Watches. … And don’t even get them started on their extensive real estate portfolios.
Many of us probably spring for the expensive dog treats or add an extra conditioning treatment at the groomer’s from time to time, but we’re here to discuss something else entirely. I’m talking about Cribs-level expenditures — people dropping sums on, like, dog mattresses that far exceed what most of us would spend on our own beds. Here, for your enjoyment, are some of the wildest pet investments I could find.
A Swarovski Crystal bathtub
Who needs a hose? Pets of a certain status wouldn’t dream of taking a bath in the front yard or in the kitchen sink; they need a soaking space fit for a diva, like a clawfoot tubopens in new tab that’s been covered with 46,928 shimmering crystals for a casual $12,000. As a Brooklynite who already feel crammed in a one-bedroom apartment with two dogs, I have to say, you know the customers for this one are rich, because where the hell do you keep it?
A personal chef
One could argue that all pets find personal chefs in their parents, and if I’m being honest, yes, I’m pretty sure that’s what my dog would call me if he could talk. But as any pampered creature will tell you, all cooks are not created equal. A pet of real means isn’t just chowing down on premade human-grade food; they’re eating fresh, sumptuous meals cooked by a personal chefopens in new tab or, for large parties, a catereropens in new tab.
One famously chic cat, Karl Lagerfeld’s kitty companion, Choupette, was known to really relish a good dinner spread. “Now she’s an adult, she dines with me,” Lagerfeld toldopens in new tab Numéro magazine in 2020. “She sits opposite me and eats what she has to eat.”
Apparently, Choupette’s tastes became more refined over time. “Before, she might have attacked any old prawn,” the late fashion designer added back then, “but now she will only touch the four different dishes prepared for her on that day, served in fabulous bowls. Everything must be very fresh, otherwise Mademoiselle sits in front of her biscuits for three quarters of an hour giving me filthy looks, without eating a thing.”
A diamond-encrusted collar
Tiffany & Co. might sell leather collarsopens in new tab that cost three figures and come in their special shade of blue, but what are we, peasants? Why choose stealth wealth when you can cop your pooch a $195,000 diamond-encrusted statement pieceopens in new tab and flex on all the other dogs at the park? It’s hard to imagine who would buy such a thing, and yet, a market apparently exists! Those looking to drop a couple more stacks of paper could try picking up that dog-leash chainopens in new tab that jeweler Nadine Ghosn designed for Drake’s “First Person Shooter” music video. Just make sure that you and your dog don’t freeze under all that ice.
Hologram health scans
You know how full-body health scan machines have become all the rage among celebrities and their doctors? You and I might never be able to afford one, but look on the bright side: At least some pets can!
OK, OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration — holopet technology hasn’t come quite that far (yet). But believe it or not, some veterinarians who cater to the rich have begun scanning dogsopens in new tab for both diagnostic and sentimental purposes. Why take a picture when you can capture them in 3D? For the fabulously wealthy, it’s a no-brainer.
Real estate
Both in life and death, rich pet parents seem to love giving their pets private crash pads. It’s not just luxury dog housesopens in new tab like the one supermodel Rachel Hunter bought for her dogs, or even Paris Hilton’sopens in new tab two-story “doggie mansionopens in new tab” — although the latter, especially, is a classic. Kylie Jenner built a separate “guest houseopens in new tab” for her dogs a few years ago, but even that is just the tip of the spoiled-pet iceberg. Gunther, the canine mogul seen in the Netflix series Gunther’s Millions, bought Madonna’s former Miami mansion after his late mother, the German Countess Karlotta Leibenstein, left him her entire fortune. He later went on opens in new tab to try and buy a Bahamian island once owned by Nicolas Cage; apparently he’s a bit of a celebrity real estate buff.
I mean, come on. Everyone wants a room (or guest house, or McMansion) of one’s own.
(Two) Apple Watches
I know what you’re thinking: Why in the world would my pet need an Apple Watch? To that I say, oh, ye of little imagination! Look over at your dog right now. He’s clearly wishing he could receive emails on his wrist. But you know what’s even better than buying an Apple Watch for your dog? You guessed it — buying two Apple Watches for your dog.
That’s exactly what Wang Sicong, son of a Chinese billionaire, reportedly didopens in new tab back in 2015. The dog in question, Wang Keke, apparently wore them on her front wrists. As you might imagine, this level of opulence led to some negative reactions on social media, but I bet your dog is reading this over your shoulder right now with a hopeful glimmer in their eye.
A gold-thread mattress
The Italian mattress company Magniflex might not have sold many of its gold mattressesopens in new tab, which came with 22-karat gold thread woven into their covers, but one of their customers happened to be a dog. Back in 2007, a wealthy Russian patron apparently ordered a miniature version for her Maltese, which inspired a line of pet mattressesopens in new tab priced at $1,000 to $3,000. Pair this with a Swarovski tub in the mini mansion and a private chef, and you’ve found a recipe for doggie domestic bliss.
Plastic surgery
Yup — we’re doing plastic surgery on dogs nowopens in new tab. Medically necessary surgeries might make many of us cower and clutch our wallets, but some wealthy pet parents take things a step further and put their dogs under the knife for cosmetic reasons. Often, patients’ nose jobs and eyelid lifts might connect to breed-related medical issues, but in other casesopens in new tab, the motivation is purely superficial. (Think: testicular implants for neutered dogs and tummy tucks for dogs with droopy stomachs.) As one L.A.-based veterinarian put it, “Hangy boobs and lumps and bumps make people uncomfortable.” OK, then!
Doggie cologne
From Dolce & Gabbana’s $108-dollar scentopens in new tab, “Fefé,” to luxurious canine-specific dog colognes like Les Poochsopens in new tab, we are all living in the Golden Age of canine fragrances — and apparently, a lot of them come with price tags equivalent to that on human perfume. Rich pet parents might be more than happy to spend a cool $100 for a better smelling dog, but for me, at least, this one smells like a real scam.
A $4.2 million tiara
I’d wager that most of us would call our pets royalty, but Thai jewelry designer Riwin Jirapolsek took things a step further when he made a $4.2 million tiara for his Maltese Kanuneopens in new tab. Jirapolsek apparently used emeralds and diamonds his mother had gifted him to make the dainty crown, a process that took almost two months. Do we think that Kanune fully appreciates this beautiful, glistening illustration of generational wealth? Probably not, but we sure can.
A hefty inheritance
While this may not be something you buy, another fringe benefit among many for rich pets is the possibility of a big, fat inheritance. For many a millionaire, estate planning can include not only friends and family, but also their hairy wards. The late heiress Gail Posner reportedly leftopens in new tab her dogs an $8.3 million mansion in Miami as well as a $3 million trust fund. Not too shabby!
As of 2007, Oprah Winfrey’s will has a $30 million cut earmarked for her dogs. (No word on whether that’s since been adjusted for inflation.) And the late fashion designer Alexander McQueen is said to have bequeathedopens in new tab his three English Bull Terriers nearly $82,000. Let’s just hope that these well-endowed pups have a good lawyer on retainer to help them dodge those pesky estate taxes.
